Am I having a midlife crisis?

​Soooo….Am I having a midlife crisis? Can you have a midlife crisis in your 30s? Is that even a thing? Good lawd! Where is all this coming from you may be asking yourself? I’ll be honest….hell if I know! Let me give you some background….

---

This all started this past summer (around August). Hubby and I planned all year and took a family trip to Disney World in Florida with the boys (ages 10 & 12 ½). I noticed I was cranky, but my monthly cycle was finishing up at the start of this trip. I can be very snappy and easily annoyed during my cycle. I know this about myself (my poor family). We were going to the parks and I just noticed I was still snappy. So I asked hubby for his opinion and he agreed that I was definitely not myself and very snappy even after my cycle finished. He asked if I was feeling okay or if he had done something. (now I feel horrible that he feels that way) I reassure him that he hasn’t done anything and I’m not sure what the feeling is but it seems I can’t shake it. In talking over the next few days he asks me if I would like to go away to a hotel for my birthday (in September) with a few of my girlfriends (his treat) just to get away. I got excited and agreed for the gift/break. Then after thinking about it I didn’t want to have to deal with having friends and making sure they are having a good time (it’s the event planner in me). So I told him that I appreciated the offer but I would prefer to just have the weekend gift to myself. I gave him the dates, some location/hotel options (I’m bougie with my hotels) and he took it from there. So Mid-September I was booked in the Long Island Marriott and had 2 nights to myself. There will be a separate blog post on my experience of what I now call Mommy Refresher Weekend.
So back to the original question…am I having a mid-life crisis in my 30's? I don’t know if I would term it as a midlife crisis exactly, but I think it would be more of a growth period that I’m going through. I turned 39 this year and it’s got me thinking. I’ve been doing a lot of self-evaluating. 2020 is going to be a momentous year for me and my family—I turn 40 years old, hubby and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage, 15 years of being a nurse, and my oldest will be starting high school. A LOT! I’ve started my healthy living journey 1 ½ years ago (that’s another blog post also) and in the last 3 months I’ve restarted working out and of course I’m naturally losing weight. My body is changing and that’s a mind shift also. I think with ALL of these things going on it has got my mind kind of twisted.
What I also realized over my special weekend was that I was in a rut. Everything was becoming routine. Being a Virgo and the Type A personality I am, I like routine, order, and structure, BUT I’m learning it’s only to a certain point. Doing the mundane was doing me in. So the beauty of the Mommy Refresher Weekend was that it was out of my routine. I had never gone to a hotel by myself before and done what I wanted to do. (I really recommend it for everyone)

Picture a reptile or insect that sheds its skin and leaves the shell of the skin behind. It’s a term called molting. The animals shed their skin so they can GROW and RID of toxic parasites. I found this term and that’s what made most sense for me and what I am experiencing. I am going through a season of molting/shedding so I can grow and get rid of what’s not benefiting me. This seems to have been triggered by a combination of things that I mentioned above, but I know it’s a process I have to go through.

---

Now I know some of you may be thinking to yourself…. “I don’t know sis you may need to see a therapist”. And I may. I am not against seeking help from a therapist, but right now I believe this solo trip I just had away from everything and everyone was just what the doctor ordered. My Spirit feels good and that’s all that matters.
I can’t wait to see what this last year in my 30s will bring. Join me for the ride as I document it here. It’s time to start living and trying different things. I’m here for all of it!